Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fakery

What topics are okay with you in comics and what topics should be totally off the table?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Wanda Sykes delivers epic 26-minute acceptance speech, mentions every other winner at event and speaks up for trans people - CNN

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why does my dog keep licking at her privates now? She is 7 years old and has barely started licking there. The vet said she’s fine but she keeps doing that.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Are there any political parties or groups that have a mix of conservative and liberal beliefs? Why are they not as prominent in the media?

I actually pay taxes

I have a reading level above third grade

I can count

With Micah Parsons, the Cowboys foolishly drag their feet — again - NBC Sports

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What is your favourite true story to tell at a party?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What can help me fall asleep at night?

I can read

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I see through liars

Was Adam white or black (African)?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Trevor Penning: The things I do well fit better at guard - NBC Sports

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I always feel very tired after I do some exercises, even after a night's sleep. What's the problem?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy bullshit

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

How does someone start doing urban exploration?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Europe stock markets fall after Trump doubles steel tariffs - CNBC

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Ok, so this is a question seeking an answer to clear up whatever gymnastics are in my head. I'm a moderately attractive guy, sincere heart, genuinely looking to love another, established. Why don't women that I'm attracted to, want me back?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why do many modern Hollywood films rely heavily on CGI and visual effects instead of actual sets? What is your opinion on this trend?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write